When the Earth was just an infant, there was only one couple.
“Why do you always act like this?!” yelled the man.
“Why do you always ACT LIKE THIS?!” responded the woman.
“You are always so overly sensitive and self-centered. You never consider my feelings over yours.”
“You are always so stubborn and indolent. I cannot do this anymore. Good-bye.”
Then, the woman stormed out of the couple's home. She looked at the sky. It was just after dawn. The new Sun was hardly above the horizon. Angered, the woman headed towards the East, where the land of the Sun was.
“I cannot believe him. He is so arrogant,” she thought to herself.
Three hours passed.
Still heated by the argument from this morning, the woman continued on her journey to the East. Not once did she look back.
However, the man was solemnly sitting in his home. He had been grieving over their fight. The man felt so alone without his wife.
“Why am I an idiot? I should not have let her leave. What if she never comes back? What if she is in danger, but no one is there to save her? I cannot be without her. I must find her and bring her home.”
The man got up and raced towards the entrance of his home. He loved her. He did not want to be without her because of a silly argument. He was determined to bring her back to him.
Then, he heard a mysterious, deep voice say, “Do you love her? Do you want her back?”
The man looked around. He did not see anyone. Nonetheless, he replied, “Yes! Yes, I love her dearly. I do not want to be without her.”
The voice said, “Very well. I will help you.”
At that point, the sun shined brighter than ever. The man realized that he was speaking to Une'`länûñ'hï, the Sun. He was very grateful for the kind act and continued towards the East where his wife had gone.
Meanwhile, the woman continued to walk. She was still upset. Une'`länûñ'hï saw this. He devised a plan for the couple to be reunited so he shined his light on a large patch of delicious huckleberries in front of the woman. However, the woman did not pay attention to them. Then, Une'`länûñ'hï shined his light on the ripest blackberries in front of the woman, but she still did not pay attention to them either. Une'`länûñ'hï continued to shine his bright rays on more berries in front of the woman in order to tempt her. Yet, the unswerving woman still ignored all of them and continued to stride with anger for her husband in each step. Finally, Une'`länûñ'hï shined his light on a patch of delectable strawberries. The woman stopped. This was the first time she had ever seen such a delicious-looking fruit.
“I have never seen an exotic fruit like this!”
Her stomach growled. She realized how hungry she was. The berries were plump and juicy. The sight was mouth-watering. They were screaming for her to eat one.
“I suppose I could take a small break now. I must try this wonderful fruit.”
She swooped down and grabbed a few strawberries. She ate them and indulged in their juicy goodness. While the woman went to grab more, she accidentally looked towards the West. This act caused her to remember the man. Suddenly, a wave of grief fell over her. She missed him dearly and decided she could not live without him. So, she gathered more strawberries and started back towards West. Somewhere along the path, the man and woman found each other.
“I am so sorry for being stubborn and arrogant,” said the man.
“I’m sorry for considering only my feelings. I love you very much,” said the woman.
Then she showed him the new fruit she had found. The man’s eyes opened wide because he had never seen such a fruit. He tried one hungrily.
“These are delicious! Let us go home so that we may enjoy these together.”
The couple lived happily ever after.
Author’s Note - The original storyline is The
Origins of Strawberries from the Cherokee
Myths unit. I remember reading this story beginning of the semester for the
proofreading assignment. I really liked the story and it is partially why I
decided to read this unit for this week. So, I decided to write my own version
of the story. In the original, the story is strictly third person narrative. I
added dialogue to give the characters more personality and life. I also wanted to add
a different dynamic to the original plot. The dialogue is a bit modern so it
may not fit with the storyline, but I felt that it is the easiest for readers
to understand. Other than that, I kept the story pretty much the same. I felt
that it is already an interesting story so I did not want to change it too
much. I also chose this story because I love strawberries! I thought it was
sweet that the "origin" of strawberries came from a love story since they
kind of look like hearts! Hence, that is why the picture I chose is of
heart-shaped strawberries. Not to mention, strawberries are sweet, yet tart. Relationships happen to be like that as well.
Book: Myths of the Cherokee
Author: James Mooney
Year Published: 1900
Web Source: Project Gutenberg
Paula,
ReplyDeleteI remember reading this story at the beginning of the semester as well. I found it very entertaining to read. I always wonder how people come up with these amazing stories, especially the ones that explain the creation of something. I thought you did an excellent job of adding in the dialogue and I definitely think it added more background to the story compared to the original. Strawberries are by far my favorite fruit, so looking at your picture definitely makes me want some. Great job on your storytelling!
I also enjoyed reading this story earlier this semester. At first I was not sure what you had made different about it. After reading the author's note I was reminded that the original was in third person! It was a great idea to add dialogue and keep it modern for the readers to understand better. I think that this is a sweet story and I am glad you kept the love and happy ending the same. The picture is a great depiction of this story. I never really noticed that strawberries were shaped like hearts!
ReplyDeleteHuh, what a cool story to describe the origin of strawberries. I like how you describe the Earth as an infant. It seems fitting given that this is an origin story. I almost think of the strawberries as a new perspective for the woman. Since it was the first time she had seen such fruit, it may have caused her to look back toward the West to remember her husband.
ReplyDeleteHi Paula! What a great story! I really enjoyed your retelling and thought the added description and dialogue made the characters more relatable and entertaining. Overall it was a very fun story to read. Plus, I love your picture! How cute that the strawberries are shaped like hearts. I actually read another storytelling this week that used this plot but with three engagement rings. It's great that you both read the same story but came up with different editions. I really liked how you used the original theme but added your own touches to the story. You did a really great job of retelling! Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteI like that this started out with such a typical argument between a man and woman. I think it’s sweet that the man decided to go after her, even though they had fought. Was God speaking to the man? Sorry, my thoughts will be kind of scattered because I like to make notes while I read. I feel like I read this story, but I may have read someone’s storytelling post over this. I am confused as to who the “deep voice” is. It is interesting that the “deep voice” had to create a new fruit just to get the woman’s attention. It is cute that the man and woman find each other. I thought your picture was very fitting with the strawberries being heart-shaped.
ReplyDeletePaula, I’d like to start by saying I really enjoyed your story. I mean, who doesn’t love strawberries? AAANNNDDD … you used a Cherokee myth which just sent me over the moon. I love the Cherokee legends and myths, I am taking Cherokee as my foreign language, and I did my entire storybook on the Myths of the Cherokee by James Mooney. I was so pleased to see that you enjoyed one of the stories as well. I hope you also enjoyed the entire reading unit.
ReplyDeleteYou did a wonderful job with your retelling of The Origins of Strawberries. I think it was an ingenious idea to add dialogue so as to give your readers some insight into the minds of the individuals in the story. I always think it’s funny how the Sun keeps trying to tempt her with berries, but she just snubs them and keeps on walking. Strawberries will get you every time.
I wonder if the moral in this story is that our stubbornness and our pride can lead us down paths that we may not want to take. Or lead us down paths from which there is no turning back. Perhaps, it’s saying that if we take the time to calm our tempers and truly listen to the one we are arguing with, we can reach a compromise before the problem becomes to big. I don’t know, but I truly did enjoy your retelling of this story and I’m really glad that you liked James Mooney’s myths. Keep up the great writing.
Paula,
ReplyDeleteI like this origin story. It provides a creative explanation for how man discovered the strawberries, but that is not the entire point of the story. There is a bigger story going on and the discovery of strawberries was just an element in that story. I don’t like the contrary when the purpose of the origin story is simply to describe the origin; it often takes away from the significance of the plot when a story ends with “and that is where apples come from.”
I haven’t read the original story, but I did like your retelling of it. I think the dialogue between the man and the woman is believable. I noticed a lot of “always” and “never” words. These words are thrown around a lot in heated arguments, and can lead to bitterness, which would explain why the woman left. Of course, these words are not true, and the two arguers realized their mistake. I also liked Une'`länûñ'hï’s part in this story. He gave the couple the pushes that they needed to see their error and helped them get back on track. The couple will have to work their problems out when they get home, but at least the woman did get very far when she ran away.
Paula, I thought you did a really great job polishing this story and adding your own touches to it. This is the first time I’ve had a portfolio to comment on for my weekly comments, but I think your portfolio is a good first one for me to see! I really enjoyed seeing the work you selected to present! I was familiar with the original strawberries origin story as well, so I was excited to see what your retelling would be like. I liked that you began your retelling the way you did, with the little preface statement of ‘When the Earth was just an infant, there was only one couple.’
ReplyDeleteYou mentioned in your author’s note that one of changes you made was adding dialog between the man and the woman. I thought this was a good choice and it really made the characters pop. The dialog really made the emotions the characters were experiencing throughout the story more relatable. I’m glad you kept the outcome of the story the same, because everybody likes happy endings. I was also blown away by your note in the author’s note that made the connection to strawberries resembling hearts, which suited this story perfectly!
Hello Paula!
ReplyDeleteFirst off I like very much how sassy the woman is. She sure can hold a grudge! Three hours and she’s still angry and STILL walking towards the East. It’s a nice change that the man is the one pining for his wife and feeling regretful. How nice of Une'`länûñ'hï to help the man, but I can’t help to wonder what his motive is? Also how strange for the woman to reject all those delicious berries. At least she became entranced by strawberries! One thing I love about this story is how descriptive you made the characters to be. It really helps to gauge their personalities. Oh how I love happy endings! I really like the pacing of this story, it’s short, sweet, and to the point. I’ve never read “ The Origin of the Strawberries” but it seems like a story I would really enjoy. Good call on adding more depth to the characters. It definitely makes the story more of an interesting read. The image you use is a perfect fit for the story! Good job on this retelling! You did such a good that I want this story to be my next reading for my storytelling
Paula, you did so great on this story! I knew this story sounded familiar, and when you said you used it for your proofreading assignment I realized where I had heard it from!!! First of all, I love that you incorporated quotes and dialogue into the story. And not only that, but your dialogue was so relatable and sounds like modern day relationships and complaints we hear couples in movies or real life use. I think that is what really made your story so great.
ReplyDeleteI also like how much detail you used in your story because it really helped us to understand the character's emotions after their fight, as well as their guilt or determination to keep on walking or to stop the other from leaving. I like that you highlighted the sun’s attempts to help and how he tried to get her to stop at every berry on the road but she would not. It really built up this sense of desperation and suspense as we waited for her to stop but were disappointed each time, until the strawberries.
I also LOVE the picture you used of the strawberries. You really could not have found a more fitting picture! And I also really like how you related strawberries to relationships in your Author’s Note – how clever!
Overall, I think you have done an awesome job on this portfolio story!!!