One day, I was minding my own business
when all of a sudden, a huge rock fell upon me. I tugged and slithered, but I could not move
because of this rock. Therefore, I patiently waited. I laid my head to the
ground and felt footsteps coming. These footsteps were large and shook the
ground with each stomp. All of a sudden, the ground stopped shaking. The rock
was lifted from my body and I was free again. I looked at my savior. He was a
large white man. He had very large round eyes, a large protruding nose, and
his most noticeable features were his large ears sticking out of his head. He
also had very pale skin. It was so pale that someone would wonder what he was
doing in the middle of the Amazonian jungle.
Nonetheless, he was my savior. I
slithered up to his foot to thank him, but then he kicked me to that very same
rock he lifted from my body and said, “Stop! Do not bite me, you wretched
being!”
I waited to regain my composure. Then I
hissed at him, “You imbecile, you kicked back whilst I was going to thank you.
Now I want to bite you.”
The white man with the large round ears
said, “Stop, let us first speak to wise people.”
We came to a hyena. The white man
asked the hyena, “Is it right that Snake should want to bite me, when I helped
her as she lay under a stone and could not rise?"
The hyena responded, “If you were
bitten, what would it matter?"
Delighted, the hyena and I laughed.
Then I began to slither to him so that I could bite him.
The white man cried again, “Stop, let
us first speak to wise people so that we may know if it is right.”
Then we found a jackal. The white man
came up to the jackal and asked, "Is it right for Snake to want to bite
me, when I lifted up the stone which lay upon her?"
The jackal replied, "I do not
believe that Snake could be covered by a stone so she could not rise unless I
saw it with my two eyes. Therefore, let us go to the place where the incident
happened.”
We returned to the place where the rock
trapped me and where the white man kicked me. The jackal told me to lie down so
that the white man could cover me with the rock. I followed and the man covered
me with the stone.
The jackal said, “Now, try to escaped.”
I tried to move, but to no avail. After
that, the white man moved towards me to lift the rock again. However, the
jackal told him, “Stop, do not lift the
stone unless you want her to bite you.”
I cannot believe I was tricked! The
white man and jackal both laughed hysterically and left me under that stone.
Ever since then, I have a great distaste for humans.
Author's Note - The original storyline
comes from The
White Man and the Snake in the South
African Folktales Unit. The main difference from my story and the original
is that my story is from the perspective of the snake. In the original story, it
is written in 3rd person. Another difference between my story and the
original is that the snake does not have a specific reason for wanting to bite
the man. Therefore, I added gave her a reason. I did that because I wanted to
add character and a bit of sympathy for he snake. Other than that, the plots
between the original and mine are pretty much the same.
Book: South African Fairy Tales
Author: James Honey
Year Published: 1910
Web Source: Google Books
I thought this was a fun and simple story. It was not too heavy or complicated and sometimes those make the best stories. I think you did a great job in switching it to the snake's point of view to capture some emotion from the snake. It allowed me, as the reader, to connect with the characters better than if it was written in third person. It was also very smart to have the human kick the snake in your version of the story. As you said, it gives the snake a reason to want to bite the human.
ReplyDeleteA small editing tip: The sentence "He had very large round rounds, a large protruding nose..." I think there should be some other word besides rounds after the adjective round. I was confused but I think it was just a silly mistake.
Good job on your story telling post for this week. I was curious as to why the man would help the snake in the first place?! It is also interesting that the snake did not immediately want to attack the man but I liked that you gave her a reason to dislike the man in your own story. Having the snake get tricked is a funny twist to the story!
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