Friday, October 24, 2014
Dear Diary,Today was my birthday! I turned eight years old! Mommy and Daddy took me to eat lunch at my favorite Red Robin so we could celebrate it. Then we got ice cream from Marble Slab. We only go there for birthdays because Mommy says it will hurt my tummy if I eat there too much. After we ate a whole bunch of ice cream, we went to the big kids playground at Regionals Park.
There are two playgrounds at Regionals Park. There is a small one where all the babies and other little kids play on. I used to play on that because Mommy said I wasn’t old enough for the big kids one yet. Now that I am eight, I am big enough! Mommy and Daddy went to the benches where all the other Mommy’s and Daddy’s sat and talked.
I stood in front of the big kids playground and stared at it. It was a lot bigger than it looked from the little kids playground. I was a little bit scared. I knew I was scared, but I didn’t want to go back now! I started to go up the stairs, but I couldn’t stop staring at my feet. When I reached to the top, I took a deep breath and looked everywhere around me. Of to the side where the Mommy’s and Daddy’s couldn't see from the benches, I saw a small boy in the middle of a crowd of kids. The small boy was holding something colorful in his arms. I couldn’t tell what it was from this far. There were six bigger boys standing in a circle and pushing the small boy around.
These bullies! I couldn't stand it! I went down the big kids slide for the first time, but didn’t think anything about it because I was so angry with the bullies! I ran as fast as I could to the crowd.
"Stop it, you big bullies!" I yelled at them while trying to break into the crowd.
"What are you going to do about it? You are just a little girl," said one of the bullies.
“I am not a little girl! I am Britomart and I just turned eight! I’m a big girl now!”
The bullies and the crowd start laughing.
“I mean it! Leave him alone! Why are you shoving him?”
The small boy spoke up, “These six guys are trying to get me to give up my new kite. They want to take it from me, but I got this as a present from my grandpa on my birthday. I don’t want to give it up!”
Another bully responded, “Give it up, squirt! You don’t deserve that!”
Then they started to push him again. I couldn’t reason with these meanies! This time, I kicked one of them in the shins as hard as I could. Then I stepped on two bullies’ feet with all my weight! For the fourth one, I kicked him in the you-know-what and he fell down crying! The last two saw what happened to their friends so they fell on the floor saying, “Please don’t hurt us! We are really sorry!
We just did what they told us to do. We didn’t want to do it. We promise!”
I told them to never bully anyone else again and they ran off.
The small boy said, “Thanks, Britomart! You are so cool! I’m Knight! Do you want to play with my kite with me?”
“Sure!”
Then my new friend, Knight, and I went off to play with the new kite. Today was the best birthday ever!
Britomart
Author's Note - So my story is based on the story How Britomart Fought with Six Knights from the Faerie Queen unit. In the original story, Britomart is a female disguised as a knight searching all over Faerie Queene on a quest to find her believed-future-husband, Sir Artegall. On her journey, she comes across a knight who are fighting off six other knights. The six knights are loyal subjects to their queen, the Lady of Delight. She is narcissistic and very controlling because she forces any knight with or without a love to be one of her subjects. Britomart is not okay with this and defeats the knights. Basically, in my version, I tried to adapt this story in a modern and kid friendly setting. I wrote the language to be a bit more kiddish and wrote it in first person. I also changed up a lot of the storyline so that it would fit better in a kid setting.
Book: Stories from the Faerie Queene
Author: Mary Macleod
Year Published: 1916
Web Source: Sacred Texts Archive
I think you did an excellent job with this story, Paula! You really captured the 'voice' and thoughts of a young child. I love the diary style of writing especially when it comes to storytelling! In addition, I love the storyline how the young girl helps out the little boy being bullied. While I did not read this story for my reading this week, after reading your author's note it sounds like it took a bit of creativity to change the story up! Great job!
ReplyDeleteI really like when people’s stories are set in modern settings and this was no exception! I even read the Britomart unit and didn’t catch on to the story you were retelling, but this is a brilliant way to do it! I think the setting that you put this story in is very appropriate and translates great from the original story. Good job!
ReplyDeleteHi, Paula!
ReplyDeleteI really like your retelling of Britomart’s story! She is such a brave little girl! When I first started reading your story, I was not sure how it was going to connect to the original story. But once I got further in, it made perfect sense! Like you mentioned in your author’s note, you did a nice job of making it kid friendly, good job!
Hey Paula! I like the way you retold this story. Although I did not read the original, after reading your Author's Note, I feel like using the setting of a girl saving a boy from bullies was a great way of retelling this story in a way that we can relate to. Also, I am sure the way you retold the story makes it easier to understand. Great job!
ReplyDeleteI have never read the original the original story, so it was interesting to me to learn about something new. Britomart is a little girl like most girls are around that age! They thing they can do anything, but it looks like Britomart can! I'm sure those bullies won't mess with her ever again. You did a great job at retelling the story in a modern sense.
ReplyDeletePaula,
ReplyDeleteYou did a really good job on your storytelling assignment this week. I enjoyed the writing style you chose; the diary format really let the read understand what Britomart was feeling throughout the entire experience. When I first started reading it, I thought she was a boy, however. Not sure why I thought that, but it surprised me when the story revealed that she was a girl.