Monday, September 22, 2014

Week 4 (Storytelling): The Man Who Thought He was a Fisherman


In the city of New York City, there was a newlywed couple. Unfortunately, this couple was very poor. They struggled to keep up with their monthly bills and they constantly had to borrow money from friends and family. One day, the newlywed couple decided to escape from the bustling and boisterous city and moved to a humble, small home in the countryside of New York.

This small home was just big enough for both of them to live there comfortably. It was white with faded blue trim around the windows and door. Inside, the couple furnished their new home with just the necessities and only a few bits and bobs to add a bit of character. Surrounding the white house were stretches of cedar trees as far as the eye could see. About half mile north of their home was a lake. During the late afternoon, the temperature was just right and it was the perfect time to watch the sun set, whilst its light reflected in the waters. The sight was breathtaking. The couple took walks by the lake during this time. On those walks, they saw always saw a fisherman by himself sitting on his boat. He was a stout man with a head of thick grey hair around his mid-to-late sixties. From afar, the couple could see the fisherman very skilled. His bucket was filled with fish after a full day’s catch.
 

One morning, the husband decided to go out on a walk to the lake. He saw the fisherman as he was unhitching his boat to go out onto the lake. The husband came up to the fisherman and said, “Hello, sir, I see you fish all day! Please, let me go with you today.”

The fisherman nodded, “I see you and your wife walking by the lake during the afternoons. Come along with me and I’ll show you how to fish.”

The husband hopped on to the wobbly, old motorboat. The boat was so old that many of the writings on the controls had faded off and many of the gears were stiff and difficult to use. However, the fisherman started the boat effortlessly. They smoothly sailed to the middle of the lake. The fisherman showed the husband his fishing techniques. They sat and talked all day until it was time to go home. The fisherman had plenty of fish in his bucket. However, the husband did not have any at all. The fisherman saw this and pitied the husband. He gave him half of his fish and said, “Take this home and eat it with your wife for dinner tonight. Come back tomorrow morning and we shall try again.”

“Thank you, sir,” replied the humble husband.


The next day, the husband came back and sailed with the fisherman again. By the end of the day, the results were the same as the day before. The fisherman split his fish and gave half to the husband. The husband accepted.

Later on that night in his bed, the husband was staring up at his ceiling. “How come I cannot catch any fish? I am doing as the fisherman tells me. I know why. It is because all the fish want to go to his bait and not mine. Tomorrow morning, I will rise very early and take the boat. Then I will be able to catch all the fish by myself.”

The next morning, the husband did so. He woke up very early and went to the lake. He started up the boat. It was a much shakier ride than when the fisherman steered, but he eventually made it to the middle of the lake. Then, the husband cast his line and waited. The sun was rising. The husband looked up and saw the fisherman walking towards the dock. Unexpectedly, there was a tug from his fishing line. He pulled back and the fishing line stayed taut. Immediately, the husband did what the fisherman showed him. It was a good ten-minute struggle. Finally, he gave one last pull and the largest catfish he had ever seen came out of the water. He had caught his first fish. He stood up on the boat and waved victoriously to the fisherman. All of a sudden, the boat shook abruptly. The husband tried to balance on it, but it shook again. What was wrong with it? Then, he realized that he did not know how to swim, so he panicked. The more he panicked, the more the boat shook. The fisherman was on the dock and he tried to tell the husband something, but he was too far. Suddenly, the boat overturned and the husband fell into the water. He paddled his legs to try to get air, but some water vines had caught ahold of his leg. The husband hopelessly struggled for his life. Finally when he ran out of energy, he sank into the bottom of the lake. 

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Author's Note - The original story comes from the The Crow that Thought It Knew from the Jakata (Sheddlock) unit. I liked this storyline because it was different from the other Jakata stories. In many of the other stories, Buddha is reincarnated and a god decided to test his virtue. The test usually demanded Buddha to sacrifice something precious to him, but in this story he was not tested. In the original version of this story, Buddha is reincarnated into a very intelligent and strong marsh crow. A couple of regular crows escape a city suffering from famine and find Buddha. They are so hungry and ask Buddha for fish. Due to his giving nature, Buddha shares his fish with them and continues to do this for some time. Then one day the male crow decides that he does not need Buddha’s help anymore. He looks just like Buddha so he believes that he can catch his own fish. Unfortunately, soon he finds out that they are not similar at all. This grave mistake leads to his death. I did a modern take on this story because I think that it is very relatable to many contemporary situations. Someone sees that another person with an extraordinary talent so he or she believes that they have the same capabilities due to physical similarities. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. There are people that overestimate their abilities and make irrational decisions. This husband did so and that led to his demise.


6 comments:

  1. Paula, I thought you did a great job retelling this story. I like the background that you gave for the couple and the modernization that wasn't in the original tale. You made the story fresh, but you kept the same general themes and stuck to the original pretty closely--that takes a lot of skill! It was interesting that you mentioned that you liked this story because it was different from others in the unit. Are there different themes? A different type or viewpoint of storytelling? I might have to read this for myself--I'm intrigued. :)

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  2. I liked your modern take on this story. It's pretty sad, but it's definitely a lesson that everyone needs to learn. This one kinda hits home for me haha. I get a little cocky sometimes and get myself in over my head, and it always come back to bite me. I really like the modern version you did, so maybe you should use it for your storybook? Just an idea! Good luck with the rest of your semester!

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  3. Paula,
    Good job on the retelling of the story! I like how you were able to give background and provide more context than was originally available in the first story. You were able to refresh the story but still maintain the original themes and stick to the first story fairly closely. This is one of the best retellings I have seen. I still struggle with being able to retell in a functional way without changing too much to the point where it is impossible to tell what the original story was. I think you have done a very good job and I hope I get to read more from your portfolio in the future.

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  4. This story was charmingly written. The modern setting did wonders to the tale. The time you took to show the thoughts of the husband did wonders to make his attempts at fishing alone believeable. The narrative seemed a little stunted at times, for example there were a few sentences that sounded strange. Working on transitions will help iron those out and make it flow a bit more smoothly than it currently does. The story is easy to follow, it just sounds odd in a few places. You also have a tendency to leave some words out. I know that you probably went back through and cut out a few words here and there to make the story fit the word count requirements (we have all done it) but some of the missing words are words like ‘was’ and need to be in the sentence. I have found that having someone else read it aloud to you often helps catch all of these problems.
    Overall you have just got a couple of little issues, but the story is charming and really well done - the narrative is clear, easy to follow, and well thought out. I enjoyed reading it and look forward to more!

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  5. Paula, having read both of your portfolio stories, it is extremely evident how creative you are with storytelling. Looking at both of your stories, I can see how you keep the original lessons or morals of the story, but you completely change the story details and make it a new story that is all your own. Not only do you do that, but you use such different situations than the original ones that show just how creative and unique your writing can be! I mean you changed this story from one about Buddha to a fisherman and a struggling couple, that is so awesome and creative!!!

    Overall, I thought this was a very interesting story! It flowed very well and was easy to follow. One suggestion I would make is to maybe incorporate more detail or include the wife’s character in the story more. In the part where the man debates to himself about not being able to fish, you could make this a conversation between him and his wife in order to learn more about his motives for stealing the boat. I also think it would be good to include more details on why the boat shook or the fate of the man.

    Either way, I think you have done a great job so far!!!

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  6. What hubris shown by the man learning to fish! I'm surprised he as able to catch anything, but I suppose it is fitting that such a large catfish causes him to fall overboard. Perhaps the catfish is a representation of of his hubris? Also, I admit that I find myself wondering what the fisherman was trying to tell the man as he struggled with the catfish. It'd be very interesting to get a perspective from the shore. You know, I almost see it as a shame that a man who initially found himself in less-than-perfect circumstances fell victim to such a demise. I almost wouldn't blame him for being so eager to catch fish.

    I do have a few suggested edits, and I've listed them below.
    In the first paragraph, you might write "bustling, boisterous city and moved..." The reason I suggest that is that comma allows you to avoid using two "and"'s right next to each other. Also, you might try combining a few sentences to vary sentence structure a little more. It's fine as it is, but I would try it and see what you think.

    Other than that, I think you're off to a great start. I like that you took the time to formulate quite a bit of your own plot to give new life to the story.

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